John: Leukemia Survivor
John Rossi is a retired bank executive, a 75-year old mile-a-day swimmer and a preeminent master gardener. He’s also an optimist, a realist and a survivor of two different kinds of cancer.
John was being followed by Dr. Kay Haedicke, a medical oncologist at the Yale New Haven Shoreline Medical Center in Guilford, after his surgery for melanoma. But last December, when he found himself exhausted after doing only ten laps in the Y pool, John thought he had the flu. Tests showed something different. Dr. Haedicke reported his blood counts were way down. A bone marrow biopsy confirmed he had another cancer: acute myeloid leukemia.
“That was a shocker. Especially when my wife Gretchen and I found out that Dr. Haedicke had already admitted me to Smilow Cancer Hospital. On December 16, we walked into the 11th floor at Smilow where I lived for a month. Dr. Amer Zeidan, Hematologist and Assistant Professor of Medicine at Smilow, started me immediately on high dose chemotherapy to kill the cancer. The drugs also destroyed my immune system. Leaving my room to do my daily one-mile walks up and down the halls meant I had to wear a mask and gloves.
“Soon there was good news. Sometime in early January, I went into remission. When Dr. Zeidan told me that, I thought I could go home. But no, because of my weakened immune system, I had to stay until January 17. After I left Smilow I had four more cycles of chemotherapy. I’d be home for a month, resting while my system built itself back up, going into the clinic if I needed blood or platelet transfusions. Then I’d go back into Smilow for a week of chemotherapy. At the end of the third cycle, there was a question as to whether or not I should have a bone marrow transplant. Dr. Zeidan arranged for me to have a second opinion with a specialist at Dana Farber in Boston. That doctor agreed we should do the fourth and final chemo treatment, without a bone marrow transplant. Finally in May, I was still in remission, with no sign of disease and that’s where I’ve been ever since. I continue to have checkups with Dr. Haedicke every month and Dr. Zeidan every three months.
“I was blessed and fortunate that I had no reactions to the chemo. Everybody was surprised that somebody my age could go through such difficult treatment with practically no side effects. I lost twenty pounds and my hair fell out. But I’ve gained almost all the weight back and my new hair has come in curly. My blood counts are up where they should be. My strength is returning. I’m swimming half a mile a day. I finally was able to start gardening again in July. For a while, because of my weak immune system, I couldn’t work in the soil. That was hard but I got a lot of help and my perennial garden is blooming. I feel great.
“My overall experience, especially with the hospital and staff, was phenomenal. If you have to go any place for cancer, Smilow’s the place to go. I can’t underscore the significance of that staff on the 11th floor. They are pros who know what they are doing. When you stay in the hospital as many days as I did, you encounter staff at every hour of the day and night. I can’t say enough about them. I don’t know how they do it every day, for so many hours. As a patient, it’s a true blessing to know these friendly, compassionate, dedicated people.”
John understands that cancer is a family matter. “My family’s love and support helped me get through this experience. I’ve been married to my wife Gretchen for 49 years. She’s a very special lady. We have three sons who are married, and six grandkids, ages 16 to 5, all living in Connecticut. Cancer takes its toll on the spouse, that’s for sure. My cancer has been a hard on Gretchen. Even though she works, she still visited me in the hospital every single day. Having a very powerful family at my side has been a blessing.
“The biggest thing I had to come to grips with was a lack of control. As a bank executive I was used to making decisions about strategic things … do this now, set this up for that. This one I had no control over. I didn’t want it. I don’t like it. But I have it. I had to learn how to dance with cancer, and not have it dance with me. I had to lead. I couldn’t let it start dancing me all over the place emotionally.
“The reality is that I have the type of leukemia that’s hard to treat. There’s no magic pill. I’m in remission but I have to live with the fact that it may come back. That’s been a very difficult process for me. It’s taken a lot of discipline. I continue working at keeping a healthy positive attitude. I’ve spent a lot of time with the pastoral people, the priest at Smilow, just talking this through, helping me get inner strength. I was always one who liked quiet time but this has been an opportunity to dig a little deeper into that quietness and where I have to go to get peaceful.
“You can get pretty angry at something like this. I think anger is destructive to everybody. It costs you physically. And I don’t want my family to be angry. The only way I can help them is not to be angry myself. Having raised three boys I know I have lots of eyes watching me. It’s important for my family that I stay healthy -- mentally, physically and spiritually. If they see I’m ok, then they are ok.
“If my cancer does come back, we’ll figure out what to do from there. Because otherwise you just get depressed. And I’m not going to let myself go there. I am grateful for being able to come through this successfully at this time of my life.
“Obviously, it’s been a hell of a journey.”